DiSC and Influence

Jonah,

Above is a quick guide to the DiSC assessment I sent over via Messenger. In general, I really dislike the official DiSC personality descriptions because the author has a strong bias against several personality types... like mine for instance. Sometimes it makes me want to laugh, other times cry, and some days I want to punch something. According to DiSC, I am a master manipulator who is perpetually using the people around me for my own ends. Or, best case scenario, a social climber who is easily manipulated by my need for affirmation.

I fully agree that I probably would have been one or both of those without Christ, but now what? And neither of those sound like my Myers-Briggs (below). I am not a fan of the official DiSC descriptors because there is no room for redemption, and no appreciation for the unique strengths inherent to every personality. No one type is more right or righteous than another - each one has strong and weak points that have nothing to do with my personal preferences for focus (purpose, people) or behavior (respond, initiate).

As to what this has to do with anything - regardless the DiSC author's annoyance with high iD and Di personalities, I truly am a natural influence. What the author misses is that I generally am not trying. Where other people's well argued ideas are taken as suggestions to be evaluated and considered, my flip remarks are taken as instruction and gospel truth through no effort or even desire on my part. It annoys the crud out of Brendan at times, lol, and I strongly suspect that you too have been a victim of this from influencers in your circles.

Remember how you said that you can suggest something and no one will listen but then someone else will say the same thing and everyone jumps on it and loves it? I'm that other person. #Sorry

For whatever it's worth, it really doesn't have as much to do with you not being listened to as the natural influence strength. And for my part, when I'm part of a situation like that, I try to give credit back to the original source or bring attention to the ideas that other people are voicing that are being overheard. Using my powers for good and not evil. ;-D

It's been said that roughly 10% of the population influences the other 90%. But a few points to note: 1) Influencers are rarely the people you would expect. Take me for instance. 2) Influence can be learned. The book I have for you is Influencer, which explorers the traits of influencers and how those can be implemented by others.

Note that the book itself is very clear that influence is different than persuasion - this will not help you persuade someone. It will help you define, cast, and implement a vision.  I have another book incoming, Influencing the Influencers, which you'll also be welcome to borrow, and a third, Crucial Conversations may also be a good read.

Which brings me to a question I probably should have asked awhile ago - do you like to read? You put up with my blogs and write well yourself, so I'm assuming you're also a reader? (You've seen my house so you know B and I are bibliophiles!)

As for specific ways to be heard... let me think about that one a bit more. That's why I was asking about personality type. The single biggest component to being heard is the other person believing that you are speaking to their benefit and in their best interest. Whether you actually are is immaterial to the success of being heard, and I suspect this is where you're getting tripped up, but the DiSC assessment would pull that out a bit more.

My premise is that you're a high C with a natural bent toward purpose and the best way to do things. Nothing wrong with that... except people-oriented people will naturally ignore you because they don't care about being right so much as they do about not rocking the relationship status quo, and high Ds are generally convinced they already have all the answers. So the only other people who MIGHT listen to you are other Cs... who are probably so busy doing their own evaluations and calculations that they cannot and will not accept your input as authoritative. (In the same way that you would equally spend the time to reevaluate theirs, LOL!!!) Cs only listen to people they perceive as experts.

I could be way off base, but this is my suspicion. Have you tried the assessment? Message me the pages (or post them here) and I can calculate and give you the numbers then go from there.